


In Want of a Dog

by jellybeansarecool



Series: Young Mr Janeway [2]
Category: Star Trek (Novels), Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Dealing with past trauma, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life, Spoilers: To Lose the Earth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-25 19:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30093963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeansarecool/pseuds/jellybeansarecool
Summary: Under Counsellor Cambridge's advice, Janeway takes Pax to the holodeck for some one-on-one time. While they are there, they encounter something that unites the two and sparks the young boy's passion. A passion that proves itself not without consequences when they travel planet-side.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Series: Young Mr Janeway [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2214351
Comments: 16
Kudos: 20





	1. Hugh's 'Suggestion'

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who had hoped my muse would strike again, you've got Anthony Trollope to thank for another peek into the life of our young Mr Janeway. I was reading _The Warden_ when the idea for this story came to me in a flash. Trollope's _The Warden_ is in no way related to this story, but a phrase in one of his earlier chapters set off a chain reaction in my head. I guess all that's left to say is, "Thanks, Mr Trollope!". I hope you enjoy this little slice of life.

Admiral Kathryn Janeway sat across from Counsellor Hugh Cambridge. In the corner of the room, her son Pax sat playing with a small toy shuttle. She tuned out the boy’s soft sounds as he muttered to himself and supplied sound effects for his imaginary game. 

Cambridge glanced over at the child before redirecting his attention to the woman in front of him. “You two have come a long way in the past month, Admiral,” he said kindly.

Kathryn didn’t buy it. “Why do I sense there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

Cambridge let out a little huff. “I think you’ve been relying on Chakotay to do the parenting. When was the last time you and Pax spent some quality time one-on-one? You need to trust yourself to be the mother he needs.”

Janeway frowned. Before she could counter his argument, the Counsellor continued. 

“So, I’m recommending you and Pax go on a ‘mummy-son date’ once a week, at least until we return to the Delta Quadrant.”

“Excuse me?”

“A mummy-son date.”

“I heard you the first time, Counsellor. What on earth are you talking about?”

“Take Pax with you and do something special on the holodeck together. Spend time with him; get to know your son. Block out some time and do something fun, no work, no husband, just you and the boy.”

“I don’t know,” she looked away, uncomfortable.

“Admiral, this isn’t a suggestion.” Cambridge drew a firm line. Admiral Janeway may be a stubborn woman, but he could stand toe-to-toe with her and not back down.

She glared at him as he turned his head away and called to the child still playing in the corner. “Pax.”

Pax looked up, his thick dark hair falling into his eyes. His dark orbs flicked from one adult to the other. 

“Come here, Pax.” 

The young Janeway clutched his toy in his fist and stood. He was still small for his age and far too skinny for Doctor Sharak’s liking, but in the weeks since joining _Voyager_ , his skin and hair had taken on a soft shine, and his health had improved tenfold. Well portioned, regular meals had done wonders for the previously neglected child.

Shuffling over to the adults, Pax came to stand beside his mother. At Cambridge’s imperceptible nod, Kathryn asked her son if he wanted to sit on her lap. Pax’s smile lit up his face revealing a small gap in his teeth where he’d recently lost his first baby tooth. 

Placing her hands under his arms, the Admiral lifted Pax onto her lap. Making sure to not stab his mother with the small spikes that ran down his arms, Pax snuggled into her chest. Kathryn slipped her arm under his thin one. She wrapped it around him and rested her hand on his small thigh. 

“Pax, what would you say to spending some time one-on-one with your mum?”

The boy looked over at the Counsellor. “Just me and Mama? What about Papa?”

“Yes, just you and your mum.”

“Will we be practising reading? Or math?” Pax twisted in Kathryn’s lap to look up at her. “Are you going to teach me more about stars?”

Cambridge shook his head. “No, Pax. Not schoolwork, something different.”

Pax’s nose crinkled in confusion. “Mama?”

Kathryn looked down at her son and smoothed his hair away from his forehead. “Would you like to go to the park on the holodeck?”

Pax nodded, smiling. 

From his seat, Cambridge smiled. A fondness for the Admiral and her son warmed his heart. He wouldn’t have thought it at the time, but joining _Voyager_ ’s crew had turned into one of the most satisfying things he’d done in his life. There was, of course, the adventure, his relationship with Seven, and the mental stimulation of the complex crew and first contact situations. He was thankful that now he could add watching Admiral Janeway grow into motherhood to his list.

|||||

Holding Pax’s hand, Kathryn keyed in the code to the holodeck. The doors swooshed open, and the boy pulled on her hand in excitement. Together they walked into a large open park.

Characters walked and skated around them. Birds and squirrels chittered from treetops. Pax let go of Janeway’s hand and looked up, awe shining on his face. Spinning slowly, he tried to take it all in. 

“Come on,” Kathryn said, grabbing hold of the boy’s hand. “I’ve got something to show you.” 

Following the path along the river, the pair made their way toward a children’s playground. Finding a wooden bench under the shade of a large oak tree, she placed her hands on Pax’s shoulders. “I want you to go play. Explore, okay? I’m going to sit right here and watch you, alright?” 

Releasing the five-year-old, she watched with a smile as Pax turned away from her and took in the large climbing frame, slides, sandpit, and swings. Across the park, children played together; their shouts of joy and laughter spun up into the clear blue sky. 

Pax took a few hesitant steps over the soft green grass. A few meters away from his mother, he turned and looked at her, a questioning glance in his eyes. Kathryn smiled and gave him an encouraging wave. Determined, he continued toward the other children. 

Janeway lost track of time as she watched her son run in and out of the play structure. His giggles and shouts floated back to her and warmed her from the inside out. A while later, Pax made his way back to Kathryn. Taking one of her hands in both of his, he tugged her toward the playground.

“What are you doing?”

“Help me on the swing, Mama!” 

“Okay, okay,” Kathryn laughed. 

Pushing the boy on the swing, she watched as he flew through the air. He squealed with laughter. 

“Stop, Mama!” 

Grabbing hold of the swing’s chains, Kathryn trotted with it forward and back, slowing it down. 

“You okay, baby?” She asked, the word feeling unusual in her mouth, but at the same time, it felt good, right.

Pax leapt off the swing and fell onto the dusty ground. Kathryn’s heart missed a beat, but before she could reach his side, he jumped up and smiled broadly. She released the breath she didn’t realise she was holding. Skipping in front of her, her son began to sing the lullaby Chakotay put their boy to sleep with. She felt her heart melt inside her. The preciousness of the moment hitting her full force.

Together they made their way along the river path, passing a collection of aliens and humans. Pax soaked it all in. Coming up to an ice cream cart, Janeway called to the young Terrashian, asking him to stop.

“Hello, young man,” the vendor said as they stepped up to his cart. “What flavour would you like?”

Pax looked up at Kathryn curiously.

“What types do you have?” She asked. 

“Vanilla, chocolate, coffee, cookies and cream, mint chocolate chip, and fig and honey,” he replied, ticking them off on his fingers. 

Overwhelmed by the choices, Pax scooted closer to Kathryn. Grabbing hold of her leg, he refused to speak. Hesitantly, Kathryn placed a comforting hand on the back of the boy’s shoulders. 

“I’ll have a scoop of the coffee,” she said, “and Pax will have…” She trailed off, trying to give him space to provide his own answer. He pressed his face into her leg. “Pax will have the chocolate,” she decided. 

Whistling, the white-clad man rolled a scoop of the smooth dark frozen dairy. Placing it on a waffle cone edged in chocolate, he kneeled and handed the small boy the dessert. Shyly, Pax reached out and took the cone. One hand still fisted in his mother’s pants, he took a tentative lick. His eyes widened, and a giant smile took over his face. 

Kathryn thanked the vendor and licked her own ice cream. They continued along the path toward a duck pond. Feeling more at ease, Pax trotted ahead of the Admiral. He pointed out every bird, fish, and plant along the way. Smiling, Kathryn encouraged him in his exploration. 

Freezing, Pax dropped the last of his ice cream. He was unaware of his mother taking a few hurried steps and kneeling at his side. She asked him what was wrong. 

Pointing his finger in front of him, Pax whispered, “What’s that?”

Janeway’s head swung up, her eyes flicking from left to right, trying to find what had spooked her son. On the path in front of them, a man walked a boxer on a leash.

“The dog?” She asked. 

Pax looked at her. His freckles stood out across his nose more than usual. She quickly realised that he’d lost some colour in his face and was shaking. Searching her brain, she tried to think of what to do. Taking his hand gently, she stood up and started to walk toward the man and his dog. 

Pax shook his head and dug his heels into the dirt. 

Kathryn waved to the man and asked if he would mind coming over. 

“No!”

“Pax, it’s okay. The dog’s not going to hurt you.” She directed her attention to the character who’d approached them. “Do you mind if Pax here pats your dog?”

“She’s a friendly old girl. She’d love it.”

Kathryn kneeled back down. Reaching out, she ran a hand over the dog’s fur. Gently taking the boy’s hand, she placed it beneath hers and stroked across the dog’s back. 

Pax frowned at the unfamiliar sensation, but as she continued to pat the dog with him, he relaxed, and a smile took over his face. “She’s so soft!” He exclaimed. 

Kathryn smiled. “Why don’t you feel her ears?” 

“Her ears?”

“Mhmm.” She reached over, keeping Pax tucked into her chest, and ran the boxer’s ears between her fingers. 

Tentatively, Pax copied her. He gasped in delight. 

Looking up, Kathryn thanked the man. 

“No worries,” he replied. “See you later, sport.” 

They continued to walk; Pax’s fallen ice cream forgotten as they encountered more dogs the closer to the duck pond they got. Delighted, Pax asked to pat every one. 

Standing beside the pond throwing small pieces of bread to the ducks, Pax spoke only of all the dogs he’d seen. Much too soon, the computer chimed, letting them know their time was almost at an end. Kathryn asked the boy if he’d like a quick run around before they went back to their quarters. Pax looked over his shoulder at the open field that bordered the pond. Spotting a few dogs playing with each other and their owners, he agreed. 

Contemplating how much her life had changed over the last few weeks as she tossed the last of the bread to the ducks, Kathryn didn’t notice her son befriend a small black dog.

Looking furtively back toward the Admiral, Pax bundled up the dog in his jacket. Whispering to it to stay still and promising that he’d take good care of it, the boy walked back to Kathryn. 

Seeing Pax return without being asked brought a smile to Janeway’s face. She called for the arch and waved Pax through. He hugged his shed jacket to his chest in an odd manner, but she didn’t think anything of it. 

As Pax walked through the arch, he felt the warm weight of the wriggling dog in his arms disappear. Opening up the jacket, he saw that the dog was gone. He looked around desperately, but there was only an empty corridor, the black panels of the holodeck, and his mother looking at him in confusion. 

Realising Pax had tried to take something off the holodeck, Kathryn knelt beside him. “Pax, sweetheart,” she moved to brush his hair from his face. The boy wrenched away violently. Shaking his head, tears started to well in his eyes. Stumbling away from Kathryn, he thumped his back against the wall before sliding down into a small ball.

Pax shoved his fist in his mouth and chewed on it, muffling the small broken cries that tore through his chest. Kathryn looked about, unsure of what to do. His cries tore her heart and, irrationally, made her mad. He wasn’t even crying properly. As soon as the thought entered her mind, she admonished herself and felt guilty. Both Cambridge and Chakotay had explained that when he was upset and inconsolable, it was because he’d never been comforted. He didn’t know how to be. He knew no one was going to come to make it better, so he had to soothe himself and hide his cries as much as possible.

Furious at herself for not making sure he knew he couldn’t take anything off the holodeck, she tried to reassure him. She reached out her hand to touch his shoulder but to no avail. He gave a wordless scream throwing his arms and legs in uncoordinated punches and kicks. Dodging his flailing limbs, Kathryn stood up and stepped away. Pax curled deeper into himself, his cries continued. 

The Admiral’s hand hovered over her combadge. Her mind flew to her husband. He always seemed to know what to do. He argued that he was learning every day just as she was, but it seemed to come naturally to him. The last time she’d seen Pax anything like this, she’d had to leave the room and let Chakotay deal with it. Her uncertainty and guilt had eaten at her and forced her to keep moving away from his broken cries.

She was about to tap the badge when two ensigns walked past. They glanced at her and Pax, noticed her glare and quickly hurried on their way. Their brief appearance convicted her. Kathryn moved her hand away from the combadge. Gritting her teeth and steeling herself, she dropped to the floor. 

Sitting beside Pax, she made sure not to touch him. She tried speaking, but he covered his ears with his hands and shook his head as if even her quiet words hurt him. He continued to cry. Sitting there, she wondered if she was doing the right thing. Commanding a fleet of ships through unmarked territory was nothing compared to this. Her son was obviously upset, but he wouldn’t let her close. She sighed. Unless the ship was about to go to Red Alert, she could wait. 

Kathryn was lost in her own thoughts when she felt a small body press itself against her. Looking down, she moved her arm so that Pax could curl into her side. His cries had slowed to ragged breaths and small whimpers. Hesitantly, Kathryn pulled him onto her lap and began to rub his back. He pressed his face into her chest and held on as if his life depended on it. She could feel the tears and snot soaking into her shirt. It was a small price to pay.

When Pax’s breathing had evened out and deepened, Kathryn felt his body go limp against her. Nudging him gently, she tried to keep him awake.

He mumbled against her.

“I’m sorry, Pax. What did you say?”

The boy lifted his head off her chest and looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes and a tear-stained face. “My tummy hurts.” 

Adjusting him in her arms, Kathryn moved to stand. “That sometimes happens when we cry lots,” she said, biting her tongue to stop herself from giving an in-depth explanation of why. Instead, she asked, “Are you ready to go back to our quarters?”

The child nodded and continued to cling to her shirt. Holding back a groan as she lifted him and moved muscles that had stiffened and seized, Janeway pulled his legs around her waist and held his back with her arm.

Slowly walking away from the holodeck, she asked, “Do you want to talk about why you were sad?”

Pax shook his head. Moving it to the side, he curled one small arm around her neck and placed his thumb in his mouth. Glancing down, Kathryn noticed the digit effectively stopping him from speaking. She wondered how much the move was prompted by exhaustion and how much from not wanting to talk. 

She decided to fill the silence. “I used to have a dog.”

Pax didn’t respond, but she felt him move in her arms, indicating that he was interested in what she was saying.

“Her name was Molly. She was an Irish Setter. You would have liked her, she had soft fur, floppy ears, and she was very friendly. I can show you a picture if you’d like.”

The boy nodded. 

Kathryn readjusted him to sit on her hip as she entered the code to their quarters. Calling to the computer to adjust the lights, she nimbly rounded some of Pax’s toys that had been left strewn on the floor. She frowned. He was meant to pick them up before Chakotay brought him to his session with her and Hugh. 

Placing the half-asleep child on the couch, she turned back and tucked the toys under her arm. Moving toward Pax’s room, she stopped and retrieved a few more toys that lined her path. Tossing them haphazardly into the large box at the end of his bed, she shook her head fondly. The bed was unmade, and a half-eaten snack sat on his bedside table – she’d learnt the hard way that she couldn’t touch that – it would be a long time before he trusted that there would always be enough food. Toys and clothes littered the ground, but his small collection of books was reverently and methodically lined on his shelves. 

Closing the door behind her, she started to call out and ask Pax if he wanted something to drink. When she caught sight of him, however, the words stuck in her throat. Her little boy was curled up on the couch, his mouth slightly ajar, fast asleep. Smiling softly to herself, she moved toward him, stopping only to grab Chakotay’s throw from his favourite chair and placed it over Pax’s small form.

Careful not to disturb him, Janeway sat on the other end of the couch. Turning her body so that she could watch him sleep, she thought about their day together. Then her mind drifted to the days and weeks preceding it. She ran her hands through her hair. She thought she’d done the right thing today, but what about tomorrow or the next day? She was so afraid of screwing it all up. She no longer feared the peace treaty that he initially represented, but the weight of motherhood still pressed heavily on her shoulders.

She felt the oppressive guilt of the mistakes she’d already made and the heaviness of the responsibility before her crush her chest, making it hard to breathe. The Admiral had experienced that all too familiar feeling often during their first trip in the Delta Quadrant, but she’d thought that she’d moved past it. 

Running her hands over her pants, she took a deep, steadying breath. Kathryn acknowledged within herself that all the work she’d done wasn’t for nothing, but it also wasn’t finished. It was ongoing. She had to decide to continue the work. To release the guilt, open up to the help of others, and live in the present. Taking another look at her slumbering son, she resolved to do just that. 

Standing up, she made her way to the replicator. Though the thought of coffee was ever-present, she had a different task in mind for the machine.


	2. Barker's Encyclopaedia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A determined ensign and a new book make Chakotay's day an interesting one.

“We’ve got to tell him.”

“Tell who what?” Ensign Tal asked her friend.

“You know. What we saw back there.” The young man pointed behind him and lowered his voice as if someone would overhear him. 

Tal vehemently shook her head, “No way. We don’t even know what was happening.”

J’onn looked at Tal incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding! The kid was on the floor crying, and the Admiral was just standing there, doing nothing.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe Pax was in trouble and was crying to get out of it.” She shrugged, adding, “My little sister used to do that all the time. Don’t you remember? It used to drive my parents nuts.”

“If that was the case, wouldn’t he be standing there howling and trying to draw as much attention to himself so that Admiral Janeway had to do what he wanted? No. I don’t think so.”

“J’onn, you need to trust the Admiral. I’m sure she knows what she’s doing.”

The other ensign laughed. 

Tal groaned. Grabbing his arm, she pulled him to a stop. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” she hissed, “or what you’ve got against the Admiral. You’re always complaining about something she’s done. Honestly, I don’t even know why you agreed to continue on _Voyager_ when we were given the option to stay in the Milky Way.” 

Pulling away from his childhood friend, J’onn grumbled, “It’s not that I have something against her. I just think there are better ways of going about things.”

“When you’re an Admiral, and in charge of a fleet of ships travelling tens of thousands of lightyears away from Starfleet Command, then you can take her methods to task. Until then, idiot, you’re just an ensign a few years out of the Academy, and you have no right to complain.” 

J’onn waved Tal off and continued walking. 

Trotting to catch up, Ensign Tal shook her head. As she approached him, she heard the young man mutter under his breath. “You wouldn’t think that if you didn’t have a crush on her.” 

“What?!” Tal spluttered. 

J’onn had the grace to look ashamed of his comment. 

“I do not have a _crush_ on the Admiral,” she ground out. “Not like you have on the First Officer,” she added spitefully. 

J’onn’s cheeks burnt brightly. He ran a finger under his collar and looked away. 

In a rush of guilt, Tal reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Gods, I’m sorry. I know you’re having a hard time dealing with that. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” 

Her fellow ensign shrugged unconvincingly. “It doesn’t matter.” After a moment, he forced the conversation back to where it had begun. “I am going to tell the Captain what we saw.” He glared at her, daring her to disagree. 

Sufficiently admonished from her earlier ill-conceived comment, she limited herself to a half-shrug and tilted eyebrows. “Whatever, J’onn. But I’m not coming with you. I still think we should stay out of it.” 

“Suit yourself.” The young man dropped his chin and burned a hole into the deck’s floor as he stalked toward the turbolift. Behind him, Tal sighed dramatically, shook her head, and walked in the opposite direction.

|||||

Harry Kim looked up from the Big Seat at the sound of the ‘lift doors sweeping open. Emerging onto the bridge was a young man. The ensign’s eyes flicked about the room as if he was looking for someone or something.

“Ensign, can I help you?” the First Officer asked. 

Spotting the Korean-American man, J’onn froze. His eyes blew wide, and he stammered out an incoherent jumble of words. 

Kim frowned, trying to follow what the younger man was saying. “You’re looking for the Captain?” He asked, hoping he’d guessed right. 

J’onn nodded. 

“He’s in his Ready Room.” 

Scrambling out of sight, J’onn felt the tension ease out of his body, and his tongue begin to loosen. Tal and a few of his other close friends on _Voyager_ had been trying to get him to see Counsellor Cambridge, and after that spectacle, he was starting to think that they might have a point.

|||||

Captain Chakotay glanced over their itinerary. After two weeks of smooth flying and one more slipstream jump, they’d enter orbit around a trade-planet before saying goodbye to the galaxy. As interesting as the scientific advances had been and as thankful as he was for Pax entering his and Kathryn’s lives, he was ready to be back in the Milky Way.

Without looking up, Chakotay bid enter the person who’d chimed. Expecting Harry or even his wife and son, he was surprised when the voice of the young man clearing his throat was not one he was intimately familiar with. Looking up, he spotted an ensign from engineering. The boy’s face was flushed with red, and he wrung his hands uncomfortably in front of him. 

Chakotay fought back a sigh. Despite all his best efforts to involve himself with all crew members – a task much more suited to this galaxy than the Delta Quadrant – there were still many crewmen who were not comfortable around him. 

“What is it, Ensign…J’onn?”

J’onn nodded at the Captain. “I. Err. I wanted to tell you. Um. About. About. Uhh. Something I saw, like earlier.” 

Chakotay bit back a chuckle, a fondness for the ensign warming him. He wasn’t sure how the shy young man had survived the various difficulties that had plagued the Full Circle Fleet, especially at the beginning of their mission, but he was glad J’onn had. Walking up to his couch, the Captain sat down. Patting it, he asked the ensign to join him.

J’onn’s eyes grew wide as he followed his commanding officer.

Chakotay’s head tipped sideways, his eyes watching J’onn kindly. Gently, he asked, “What’s bothering you? What would you like to tell me?”

J’onn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Resting his hands in his lap, he turned to face his captain.

|||||

Stepping into his quarters, Chakotay shed his jacket. Spotting his wife at the table reading a PADD, he felt a shot of pride run through him. He knew from the young ensign who’d visited him earlier that Kathryn’s day hadn’t been smooth sailing. Despite that, she hadn’t commed, visited, or handed Pax off to a holo-nanny or babysitter.

Under Cambridge’s advice, they had an agreement that if she was feeling overwhelmed, any of those options were acceptable and nothing to be ashamed of. On the flip side, he also had those choices available to him. The only stipulation was that they let each other know so that in the case of a Red Alert, they could focus on _Voyager _without devoting unnecessary attention to worrying where their son was.__

__Reaching her side, the Captain placed his jacket on the back of an empty chair and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek._ _

__“How was your day?” He asked, unable to help himself._ _

__When she turned to face him, he noticed a shadow of apprehension flicker across her face before she quickly masked it. Frowning slightly, he parted his lips to ask her what was wrong when she rose, kissed him on the lips, and moved to replicate him a cup of tea._ _

__Over her shoulder, she said, “Pax is waiting in his room. I’ll tell you about it when you’ve finished with him.”_ _

__Nodding, he took the hot drink she held out to him and moved back through their quarters to his son’s room._ _

__Rapping lightly on the door before entering, Chakotay’s spirits lifted when he saw the beaming face of his son. Dressed in a fluffy Captain Proton onesie – he didn’t have the heart to ask Harry how many replicator rations it had cost – Pax was surrounded by stuffed toys. The Captain was concerned with how many teddies various crew members gave them when Pax first arrived on _Voyager _, but the boy loved them all. In all honesty, Chakotay wasn’t sure how there was room for the five-year-old to sleep.___ _

____“Papa!” Scrambling out of his blankets and sending stuffed animals flying, Pax launched himself at his father._ _ _ _

____Catching the small boy in his arms, Chakotay chuckled and carried the little scamp back to bed. Depositing him on the bed, the former Maquis turned to pull Pax’s current favourite book from its place on the shelf. How Kathryn had convinced the child that _Spacial Anomalies of the Beta Quadrant_ was a good night-time read was beyond him. _ _ _ _

____“No, Papa. This one!” Bouncing on his bed, the Terrashian held out a large hardcover book._ _ _ _

____Chakotay took it and watched as Pax dropped bum down onto the bed with a bounce at his pointed look. Crawling under the covers, the boy circled his arms around as many teddies as he could and looked back at his father expectantly._ _ _ _

____Chakotay looked down at the book in his hands. His eyebrows shot up. _'Barker’s Encyclopaedia of Dog Breeds: Earth and Beyond'_. _ _ _ _

____“Where’d you get this?” The man asked._ _ _ _

____“Mama gave it to me.”_ _ _ _

____“She did, did she?” The Captain looked over his shoulder back toward where he last saw his wife._ _ _ _

____“Mhmm! We’re going to get a dog when we get back to Earth, so I need to learn all about them!” Pax started bouncing up and down on his bed where he sat, excitement bubbling out of him._ _ _ _

____“We are?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes.” The boy nodded emphatically before demanding, “Read it, Papa.”_ _ _ _

____Automatically, Chakotay responded, “Please.”_ _ _ _

____“Pleeeease!”_ _ _ _

____Gesturing for Pax to shuffle along, Chakotay sat on the bed. Looping one arm around the boy, he tucked him into his side so that they could read the book together. Glancing through the pages, he saw that each breed was allocated a page containing a glossy high-res picture, stats, and a short history of the breed. The book was large and weighed heavily against his legs._ _ _ _

____Finding the letter ‘A’, Chakotay was about to read the first entry when Pax placed his hand on the page._ _ _ _

____“No, Papa. Read from the start.”_ _ _ _

____Gathering his patience, the Captain flicked to the beginning. Eyeing the table of contents, he realised that before they even got to the breeds, they had _'The Evolution and History of Dogs_ ,' _'The Biology of Dogs_ ,' _'Choosing a Dog_ ,' and _'Caring for Your New Dog'_ to get through._ _ _ _

____As he read, Pax’s eyes grew heavy. He felt the child slip further down the bed until only his head was poking out of the blankets. Finishing the paragraph, Chakotay closed the book and began to hum and then sing Pax’s lullaby in a soft low voice. Standing up, he moved to shelf the book._ _ _ _

____A sleep-laden voice mumbled behind him, “Put it first, Papa.” Continuing to sing quietly, he followed his son’s direction. Turning back around, he dropped a kiss to Pax’s forehead and wished him a good sleep._ _ _ _

____Leaving the room, Chakotay found Kathryn where he’d left her. Running his hands over her shoulders, he smiled down at her as she dropped her head back onto his torso._ _ _ _

____“You could have told me you wanted a dog,” he said with a sad little smile._ _ _ _

____Stiffening in her seat, Kathryn stood and turned. Facing Chakotay, she took in his kind eyes and felt a slight grin pull at her lips. “It was Pax’s idea.”_ _ _ _

____“Sure, blame it on the kid.”_ _ _ _

____Trotting backwards toward the couch, Janeway laughed. “All I did was take him to the park. At Hugh’s request, I’ll have you know.”_ _ _ _

____“Full of friendly fluffy dogs, no doubt,” he said as he approached her._ _ _ _

____“I didn’t know the programme included dogs!”_ _ _ _

____“Mhmm.” A teasing smile pulled at his lips and shone in his eyes as the back of her knees hit the furniture, forcing her to sit._ _ _ _

____Kneeling in front of her, he captured her hands in his. Leaning into her space, Chakotay asked, “And then you gave him a book full of dogs. I’m not going to ask if you plan on giving up coffee for a month with all the replicator rations it probably cost. But I do want to know why. Why the shiny new book?”_ _ _ _

____Kathryn pressed her forehead against his before leaning back and inviting him to sit beside her._ _ _ _

____“We had. A problem. When we left the holodeck.”_ _ _ _

____Chakotay frowned; he’d suspected as much after what Ensign J’onn had told him. He cocked his head as he listened to Kathryn, interested in finding out what had really happened._ _ _ _

____“He tried to take something off the holodeck, and when it disappeared, he got upset. I didn’t know what to do, so I just sat beside him until he stopped crying. When we came back here, he fell asleep. I was sitting there thinking about how much he loved the dogs and how much Molly had meant to me. I didn’t stop to think whether we’d be able to have a dog when we get back. Who knows what Starfleet has in mind for us?”_ _ _ _

____“You did say we’d get a dog, then?” He asked, trying to keep the story clear in his mind._ _ _ _

____“Not in so many words.” Kathryn leaned back, letting her head rest against the couch. All the reasons why they couldn’t get a dog and why she shouldn’t have replicated the book flitted through her mind._ _ _ _

____“Hey,” Chakotay said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, “I understand why you said we would, but I need you to tell me exactly what you said so that if we need to, we can explain to Pax why we can’t have a dog.”_ _ _ _

____Sitting up, she pulled away from him. She was tired of doubting herself, second-guessing, and feeling less than the woman she was. She knew Chakotay wasn’t trying to make her feel that way, but something in his question brought back the emotions that had plagued her earlier._ _ _ _

____She looked away for a moment, half-thoughts tumbling inside of her. With a surge of determination, she pushed them away and refused to let them control her._ _ _ _

____Looking her husband in the eye, she said, “I replicated the book while he was napping. When he woke up, I told him that we could look at it together. I was telling him more about Molly when he asked if we could have a dog. I said that there’s nowhere to get one and that having a dog on _Voyager_ wasn’t a good idea. _ _ _ _

____“Later, he asked if we could have one when we got to Earth. I told him it would be something that we would have to talk about together as a family. He asked me if you liked dogs; I told him I think so. After that, he became convinced that we were getting one.” She shook her head in slight frustration._ _ _ _

____“And then when we went for a walk to Engineering, Pax told Icheb and Bryce that we were getting a dog. I tried to tell him that we didn’t know if we will get one. He looked at me with absolute conviction.”_ _ _ _

____Kathryn drew herself up and mimicked her son, “‘Mama, you like dogs, I like dogs, and Papa likes dogs. We’re getting a dog.’ Bryce was trying not to laugh as Pax nodded and trotted off to show one of the ensigns his new book.”_ _ _ _

____Janeway considered the sparkle in Chakotay’s eye; she felt her lips curve into a smile, and the tension drain out of her. “He is so convinced and so adamant that we’re getting a dog nothing I say seems to dissuade him. It doesn’t matter that we’re more lightyears from Earth than I can bear to think. He’s decided we’re getting a dog.”_ _ _ _

____Chakotay chuckled._ _ _ _

____Frowning, Kathryn asked, “What?”_ _ _ _

____“He’s so much like his mother.”_ _ _ _

____She gave him a pointed look._ _ _ _

____“Stubborn to a fault.” He leaned in and kissed her. Before she could push him away, he continued, punctuating each attribute with a kiss. “Passionate. Intelligent. Strong. Determined. Brave. Kind. Compassionate. Curious. Gorgeous.”_ _ _ _

____Kathryn pulled back with a cocked eyebrow that rivalled even Tuvok’s best. “Gorgeous? I think our five-year-old with a missing tooth and grubby trousers is a little young for that.”_ _ _ _

____Chakotay dropped his head to her chest and groaned. “You distracted me,” he mumbled._ _ _ _

____“I distracted you?”_ _ _ _

____He looked up with a twinkle in his eye. “Yes, you brilliant _gorgeous_ woman, you.” He draped himself over her and peppered kisses across her face. _ _ _ _

____Laughing, she pushed playfully against him._ _ _ _

____Later, Kathryn found herself looking down at him, her hair falling out of its confines and around her face. From his position on the couch beneath her, he looked up with eyes full of love. Laughter lines crinkled around their edges and endeared themselves to her. The knowledge that her husband was with her and that their son was safe in bed soothed her soul. No matter what happened when they made it back to the Milky Way, her family was here, together._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> If any of you have a scenario/situation you'd like Pax to explore or have a prompt for this series, feel free to leave it in a comment or hit me up on Tumblr (I'm under the same name).  
> All the best, and stay safe!  
> JBeans


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